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14 October 2006 @ 06:07 pm
Hold Your Light- The Soundtrack  

Music has been a huge part of my life, ever since I can remember. Growing up, there was always music in my house be it the radio, records, or my mother's beautiful voice. She would never let me sit at the small upright piano we had and pound away on the keys. An instrument was to be respected. She patiently sat with me and showed me the notes and the sounds and when I expressed an interest, she got me a piano teacher. The piano and I never really took off, but it was the foundation that would guide me through my many years with the clarinet and the dabblings with the guitar. But always, there was an appreciation for music- of all kinds-within me.

It's only natural for music to be my guide and companion through my writting. So, here is a little gift for those out there who have been following this story. Here is a look into my writing world and the music that inspires it. 

Let me preface this journey by saying that I know everyone out there will not have the same musical tastes as me. What I ask is that you keep and open mind and perhaps when you come out on the other side you will have gained some insight into not only this story, but yourselves as well.

The first link I bring to you is Nutshell by Alice in Chains. The album that this song is included on, Jar of Flies, came out during a very difficult time in my life. I was lost, hurt, and alone within my own self-imposed prison. I wept the first time I heard this song. Never before had I ever encountered a song that so perfectly summed up everything I was feeling at that exact moment in my life. Needless to say, I listened to this song everyday for weeks on end. It helped me identify what exactly it was that I was feeling. That nameless, black hole of confusion in my soul began to see the light. This is where Trowa is right now. Even though he has Duo and Heero, he still feels so alone. "No one to cry to, no place to call home." He believes that neither of his friends could possibly understand how he feels, so he keeps it all to himself.

For a band that came out in the "grunge" era of the early 90's, Alice in Chains were one of the few who lasted beyond that. Their songs, while often hard at times, always contained wonderful harmony between the lead singer, Lane Staley, and guitarist-singer, Jerry Cantrell. Not something found in your average hard-rock band.

Next, I bring to you the song that gave this story its name, jimmy by Tool. This song actually has an almost comical organ solo as an opener, but I'll spare you all that. Hands down, Tool is my favorite band. They blend complex musicality with intense lyrics. This is no 4/4 time, 4 chord band. I am not lying when I say that every song of their's is a journey. Their music sometimes will start off mellow and build to a climax that borders on orgasmic insanity. I use this song as a representation of the turmoil that is going on inside Trowa. Where he is, locked inside his memory, is so very dark. I hear him practically begging Duo to stay, to hold his light high as a beacon for Trowa to follow out of that dark maze. You can find the lyrics here. The lead singer has a tendency to whisper, so it's hard to understand him in the middle section of the song.

Eleven was the age that Trowa found himself with the second mercinary group. What he doesn't want to admit, even to himself, is that he feels terrible guilt over what happened with the mercs who raised him. It's this guilt that allowed him to be lured in and subsequently abused by that second group. "Eleven lead me through each gentle step by step, by inch by loaded memory." This is Trowa coming to terms with everything that happened. It's a maddening journey, and this song illustrates it perfectly.

As a bonus, I'm going to include this song even though the story has not reached this point yet. When Trowa finally makes the decision to heal himself and fight his way to recovery, the song I know I will be drawing inspiration from is 10,000 Days by Tool. While this song was written about the lead singer's mother who passed away, it illustrates a climb towards enlightenment that I believe parallels Trowa's. It is long song, about 11 minutes, but you will not be disappointed. Here you will hear the journey that is a Tool song, the build of intensity and the powerful climax. Sit back, close your eyes, and open your mind. You may need to listen a few times to get the full effect. "It's my time, give me my wings." This is Trowa rising out of and above the mire he has been wallowing in.

These three songs, when juxtaposed with my story, are the best examples I can give for the emotions of all involved. Even though I only speak of Trowa above, Duo's and Heero's voices are also present and speak to me with these songs. Perhaps next time I'll offer some of the other songs that I draw from, but these, these are the big three. 

Please, let me know what you think.


Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
dmnutv_archerdmnutv_archer on October 16th, 2006 11:45 am (UTC)
Thanks for the nudge to check out this post. I'm downloading now. (dialup so it will take a while) I'll email you after I listen.
evilkat_meowevilkat_meow on October 16th, 2006 11:14 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* Thanks for taking a listen.
lychee: gacktlycheedreams on October 17th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
music is such a fascinating thing, isn't it....we both have such eclectic tastes. well, it's my mission to make yours more eclectic. I'm quite proud of how successful I was at introducing you to The Man, The Gacktness.

naturally, I'm still stuck on my current obsession. it will last weeks, I'm sure. You WILL love them!
evilkat_meowevilkat_meow on October 17th, 2006 09:01 pm (UTC)
I'll consider it a trade. You gave me Gackt, I'll give you Tool. You WILL learn to love Tool because they are quite simply the most amazing band ever and transcend lables like "rock" or "metal."
(Anonymous) on January 17th, 2011 08:20 am (UTC)
painter 11
Wow - this is the best article i’ve read in ages!
evilkat_meowevilkat_meow on January 18th, 2011 03:42 am (UTC)
Re: painter 11
Well, thank you for reading it. If you are a fan of "Hold Your Light" you may be interested to know that I am currently working on a new chapter. Hopefully the wait won't be too much longer.