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27 May 2006 @ 12:04 am
The Unicorn- Chapter 4 part 1  

Trowa stared up into Quatre’s serene face.  “What do you mean, choose?  Just what am I supposed to be choosing?”


            “Who you will give your heart to…and your virginity,” the unicorn said with a wink.  Trowa began to twist around in an attempt to remove Quatre from his lap.


            “Wait just a second,” Trowa said as he shoved Quatre onto the other side of the bed and sat up.  “Just because you invited Duo over and just because we happened to have a good time, doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to jump into bed with him.  I barely know him, Quatre.”  He sighed heavily.  “I like him, that much is obvious, but you can’t just force us together and say ‘happily ever after.’  It doesn’t work out that way.”


            The unicorn shook his head in disappointment.  “Trowa, I’m not trying to force what your heart has already decided it wants.”


            Trowa stared at the unicorn.  Quatre stared back, the moonlight streaming through the bedroom window reflecting cat-like in his eyes.  It was here, bathed in this light that Trowa could see Quatre’s true form: not the willowy stallion he met in the park all those nights ago, but a beautiful, ethereal creature that transcended all earthly bounds.  He glowed with a luminescence that had to heaven born.  Trowa’s breath caught in his throat and he sat upright.


            “Quatre?” he asked, suddenly unsure.  The unicorn was out of the light and back straddling Trowa’s hips before the boy could react to the movement.  The unicorn was once again the human form Trowa was familiar with.  


            “You doubt me?  Why?” Quatre asked as he pushed Trowa flat onto his back.  There was hurt in his voice.  It was a tone that Trowa had never heard from the unicorn before.  Sure, there were the times when Trowa had to scold him like an errant child, but never had he heard such genuine pain in the unicorn’s voice. 


            Trowa looked up into that beautiful face.  “I…I don’t doubt you, Quatre, but how am I supposed to just take your word for it?  I don’t feel-“


            “You’ll feel it soon enough,” Quatre interrupted with absolute certainty. 


            “Quatre,” Trowa sighed.  “If you keep pushing, it’s going to have the opposite effect.  If Duo is truly interested, then we’re just going to have to wait and see.”


            “Oh, Trowa,” Quatre cried as he lay down on Trowa’s chest and nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck.  “I want you to be happy.  That night, when I saw you for the first time, you were so lonely.  Your heart was crying so loudly that I couldn’t escape it.  I knew I could help you.  I knew I had to help you.”   


            Trowa snorted and turned to face the window.  “Yeah, right.  You’ve been trying to get me to have sex with you since the day I brought you home.  You won’t let up until I give you what you want, right?”  Quatre’s body went so still that the unicorn didn’t appear to be breathing.  “This is just a game to you; don’t think that I’m not on to you.  Is the unicorn that nails the most virgins held in higher esteem?”  Quatre shot back up and grabbed Trowa by his shoulders.


            “No, Trowa…no,” the unicorn vehemently denied.  Trowa turned his head to glance up at the blonde’s face.  In the dimly lit room he could see the tears brimming in the unicorn’s eyes. “If you were to give me a gift as precious as that,” Quatre began breathlessly, “I..I would cherish it for the rest of my days.  That is the truth, Trowa Barton, and I would never deceive you about that.”


            Trowa had no choice but to believe the sincerity and naked honesty that burned in Quatre’s ocean-blue eyes.  “O…okay, Quatre,” he began hesitantly.  Trowa knew that he had offended the unicorn with his rash comments.  Deep down in his heart he knew that it was just Quatre’s nature and the inexperience that came with pretending to be a human that caused him to be so uncensored.  Not realizing that he should be embarrassed or that his actions sometimes caused others to be uneasy made every emotion that the unicorn expressed so much more genuine.  There was nothing whatsoever false about anything Quatre did, and in his quick-tempered reaction Trowa forgot this.  “Look, I’m sorry.  I just don’t want to get my hopes up.  It’ll be easier that way if he decides that he’s not interested in me.”


            “How could he not be interested in you?  You’re a beautiful person, Trowa.  You give so much of yourself to others without even thinking about it.”  Quatre moved off of Trowa’s lap and lay back down beside the green-eyed boy.  Finding a comfortable position, he rested his head onto Trowa’s shoulder.  “I have faith in you,” Quatre continued.  “You’re just unsure of yourself, but I know you’ll grow out of that.”


“I’m so happy to know you’re so sure of this,” Trowa said sarcastically.  The unicorn fell silent for a moment before he chuckled softly.    


            “What’s so funny?” Trowa asked.


            “He couldn’t keep his eyes off you the whole night.  You’ll see.  He’s as captivated with you as you are with him.”


            Trowa began to run his fingers through Quatre’s hair and the unicorn purred in contentment.  He gave only a passing thought to the ease in which he now was able to share such proximity to the unclothed unicorn before letting his eyes close.  I hope so, Quatre…I hope so.





            The next day came and went without a word from Duo.  Trowa justified it by reminding himself that the braided boy had said he would contact him in a few days when he left after dinner.  So, not hearing from him the very next day was no big deal.  Duo had his own work that kept him out at strange hours.  Perhaps he was just waiting for his schedule to allow a moment where he could contact Trowa to set up “something,” as he called it.  Yes, that had to be the reason.  Duo was busy with work.  That still didn’t stop Trowa from cooking a little more food than usual that night in the hopes that Duo might stop by.  If such an occurrence happened, he wanted to be prepared to invite Duo to stay. 


            But dinner came and went while Trowa and Quatre ate in a companionable silence and Duo never made an appearance.  As he washed the dishes that evening, Trowa scolded himself for acting like a foolish, lovesick child.  But he couldn’t help it.  He found himself conjuring up different scenarios all day long about how Duo would ask him out and how he would respond.  Trowa slammed the palm of his hand down on the kitchen counter.  Stupid, stupid, stupid.  You’re starting to build this up too much.  If you keep doing this to yourself it’s only going to hurt that much more when he never speaks to you again.  Damn it.  I’m already expecting it to go bad when it hasn’t even begun.  A frown touched his lips as he hung his head.  Quatre’s right.  I don’t want to be alone anymore.


            “Trowa?”  Quatre called from the living room.  “Do you need help cleaning up?”


            “No, I’m okay,” he answered dejectedly and finished washing the last of the dinner dishes.   






            Two more days passed with no sign of Duo.  And as much as Trowa tried to not let it faze him, he was beginning to doubt that he would ever hear from him.  This was a familiar pattern that Trowa had experienced before.  In his first semester of college he decided that he was going to try and open up more.  He was in a different atmosphere with new people that had no prior knowledge of him.  It was the perfect opportunity for Trowa to make a fresh start.  He initiated conversations with some of the other students in his classes and found himself being accepted in ways he had never imagined.  There were even a few boys who seemed interested in him on a romantic level, but that was where things always seemed to stall.  They would tell him that he seemed like a nice person and that they would like to hang out some time.  Phone numbers would be exchanged and dates would be planned, but rarely did they come to fruition.  The ones that cancelled on him at the last minute were only slightly better mannered than the ones that outright disappeared on him. 


            Those few bad experiences only served to make Trowa withdraw further.  He still maintained his friendships with a few choice people, but even they were now being kept at a distance.  His shyness around people was beginning to cost Trowa his interpersonal relationships, not to mention that it was ending any chance of sexual relationships before they even began.  Trowa knew this.  He knew that his irrational fears and discomfort were constantly being misinterpreted as unwillingness or lack of interest.  And he tried, in his own little way, to be more assertive and confident.  But it never seemed to work out, and after one too many failed attempts, he gave up.  At twenty years of age, Trowa Barton was resigned to the fact that he just wasn’t good with dealing with people who wanted more than just a casual acquaintance.  That was why when a certain young man with a long chestnut braid sauntered into his existence with a self-assured attitude and a smile that would melt the coldest of hearts, he attempted to be content with the occasional chat in the hall.  At least, that was what he tried to tell himself.  The fact that he found himself hoping that he would run into Duo told him that things weren’t going according to the plan. 


            Trowa crawled into bed that night with a heavy heart.  He had spent the better part of the day distracted from his work and worried, actually worried, about why he had not heard from Duo yet.  He conceded that it was still childish to be feeling this way, but as more time passed, the more he began to think that Duo was avoiding him. 


            “Trowa, cut it out.  All your thinking is making my head hurt,” Quatre chastised playfully. 


            “Sorry,” Trowa answered dejectedly.        


            “Stop worrying.  He’s going to get in touch with you.”


            “I’m not worried,” he denied, though he knew it was a lie.  “If he calls, he calls.  If he doesn’t…that’s fine.  I’ll get over it.”


            Quatre moved over to spoon up behind Trowa and pulled the taller boy back into the warmth of his body.   “Stop lying,” he whispered into Trowa’s ear.  “You and I both know that you will most certainly not be fine if he does not call.  I know you think you’ve been hiding the uncertainty you’ve been feeling from me, but I see right through you.  I know you want this more than you’re willing to admit.  So, it’s alright to admit that you’re nervous and a little overanxious.”


            “I’m scared, Quatre,” Trowa admitted quietly.  “I’ve never let anyone get this close to me before, well, besides you, but I didn’t have too much choice there.”  The unicorn laughed softly.  “What if Duo finds out we have nothing in common and doesn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore?  What if he ends up not being who I expected him to be?  What if-“


            “Shhh, Trowa,” Quatre interrupted softly.  “You cannot fret over the possibilities.  You can only worry about the here and now.  If you waste your time concerned with what might happen, you will miss what is happening.  It’s okay to be scared, this is something new, but it is also something exciting.  You’ll see.  Stop worrying so much about being something and just be, Trowa.”


            There was a long stretch of silence in which the two lay entwined and unmoving.  Trowa replayed everything the unicorn had just told him over and over in his head, letting it all sink in.  Quatre was right, but of course that didn’t stop the cynical part of his mind from scoffing at the advice, claiming that it sounded like it came from some bad self-help book.  


            “I’ll try, Quatre,” Trowa said, and was surprised to find that it wasn’t just an empty sentiment, and that he really meant it.


            “Good,” was the unicorn’s only reply, and he nuzzled his face into the back of Trowa’s head and promptly fell asleep.

Current Mood: sleepysleepy
(Deleted comment)
evilkat_meowevilkat_meow on May 29th, 2006 06:05 pm (UTC)
Hahahahaha...my poor Aki! That's an awesome pic!
Fran: katou-iwakifranwi on May 29th, 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)
LOL - I also did this one...