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18 December 2005 @ 12:37 pm
Power and Control- Chapter 7  

The aftermath of the previous chapter.  I wanted to detail the physical trauma of rape that a body undergoes in this chapter, but not be too graphic...if there is such a thing.  But at the same time I didn't want to sugar coat it.  In the end I think I was truthfully blunt, but didn't linger too long on the gory details.  Also, this was one of the first chapter where I started to bring in my AU ideas.  I needed to make up a back story for Sakaki.  Why is he so adamant and protective over Michael?  That was the question I asked myself when I was writing this chapter.

Power and Control- Chapter 7






            Sakaki gazed blearily at the figure standing in the doorway.  His head was pounding with such furor that it felt like his brain was attempting to burst out of his skull via his forehead.  Michael was still sobbing, his face buried in Sakaki’s shirt.  He was almost positive that the hacker had not even registered Amon’s presence yet.


            “What happened?” Amon whispered as he cautiously stepped into the room.  Sakaki could not help but laugh bitterly.


            “Punishment,” Sakaki replied, his voice was devoid of any recognizable emotion. 


            “Punishment?” Amon echoed.  One elegant eyebrow arched in question.  If Sakaki had not just experienced what was probably the most traumatic event of his young life he might have had the energy to smack Amon upside the head for asking such a stupid question.


            “Yes, his Majesty, The Supreme and Mighty Zaizen felt the need to punish Michael for his flagrant disregard of the rules he had put forth.  As a special bonus he felt I should be there to witness it.”  The contempt fell from Sakaki’s mouth like blood from an open wound. Amon just blinked at him.


            “Sorry,” Sakaki offered after a few tense moments.  “It’s been a long night.”  He curled a protective arm around the trembling figure in his lap.  “Michael?  Come on, you need to get up,” Sakaki said softly.  Tear-swollen blue eyes looked up at him wearily and then tracked over to the man standing just inside the room.  Amon met Michael’s eyes but no words passed between them.


            Michael sat upright from Sakaki’s lap and then attempted to pull himself to his feet by using the bed for leverage.  Every muscle in his body screamed in protest of the movement.  The after-effects of the collar left his limbs weak and uncooperative.  After two tries, Sakaki had to help him.  The blonde lifted him by his armpits and sat him down on the bed a little too roughly.  Michael shrieked and fell to his side as pain shot up his spine from his recently abused anus.


            “Michael! God, I’m sorry,” Sakaki said.  “Is it bad?”  Michael eyes were clenched shut and his face contorted.  He held his breath as the soreness radiated in waves.  It was a few seconds before he was able to answer.


            “I…don’t think so,” Michael said between pants.  “He didn’t use…lubrication…should be okay though.”  The redhead shut his eyes again and clawed at the bed sheets as another wave of pain struck.


            “Didn’t use…,” Sakaki whispered to himself, horrified at the thought of how much hurt Michael was experiencing.  He turned his shocked eyes to Amon who had not moved from his previous spot.  The tall man watched the two of them with an odd, calculating look on his face.  Sakaki had no idea what was going on in the somber man’s head but he was in no mood for his aloofness right now.


            “Amon, please help.  I don’t know what to do,” Sakaki asked.  Amon did not reply but moved quickly to cover the distance in a few graceful strides.  He knelt down beside the bed, next to Sakaki.    


            “Michael,” Amon said softly as he reached out and gently ran his hand through the short hairs on the top of Michael’s head.  “Has it ever been this bad before?”  The hacker nodded in the affirmative.


            “First time was bad…hasn’t been like this …in a while,” Michael answered through gritted teeth. 


            “Do you think there is any internal damage?”


            “No…think I’m still bleeding though.” 


            Amon nodded in acknowledgement and then turned to the worried figure kneeling beside him.  “Sakaki, go into the bathroom and get a wash cloth or a towel and wet it with warm water.”  Sakaki stared at Amon, dumbfounded as the request sank in.  The blonde then rose slowly to his feet and walked a little unsteadily to the adjoining bathroom.  Amon watched him for a moment and then turned back to Michael.


            “Do you have any antibacterial ointment or any medicinal creams?”


            “Bacatracin…in the medicine cabinet,” Michael answered.


            “Good.  Bring that too, Sakaki,” Amon called after the blonde.  “Don’t worry, Michael, we’ll take care of you.”  He kept his hand moving the hacker’s cinnamon locks, hoping that it was a comforting gesture.


            “Amon, how come you never said anything to me?” Michael asked.  Amon broke off eye contact and looked down at the mattress. 


            “I…I didn’t want anyone to know.  I was ashamed that I let it happen and let it go on for as long as it did.”


            “How long-“


            “Five years,” Amon said bluntly. 


            “Oh, Amon,” Michael gasped.  The dark haired man looked Michael in the eye.


            “Don’t pity me.  I’m not worthy of it,” Amon said seriously.  Michael felt himself swallow reflexively.  “I make a promise to you now that I will see you free and Zaizen will pay for all he has done.”  Amon’s hazel eyes blazed with such intensity that Michael could not help but believe what he said to be true.  A quick nod of his head signaled his faith in Amon’s word.


            “Okay, I’ve got the stuff,” Sakaki said as he scurried back into the room.  He stopped short when he noticed the silent exchange between the other two.


            “Good,” Amon said as he turned to face to the blonde.  “Get on the bed next to Michael.  You are going to examine him.”


            “I’m going to what?” Sakaki shouted incredulously. His eyebrows shot up in astonishment.  Amon could have just suggested that they all join a convent from the way Sakaki reacted.


            “Examine him,” Amon said with just a hint of frustration in his baritone voice.  “We need to be sure there is no internal tearing.  He could get very sick if an infection develops.”


            “No, really this isn’t necessary guys.  I’ll be fine,” Michael protested. 


            “Michael,” Amon said sternly, “We need to check.  No more arguments.”


            “Amon,” Michael whined, “I don’t need you to-” Michael stopped abruptly as another spasm shot through his body.  The hacker turned and buried his face in the pillow to muffle his cry.  When it subsided he turned back to face Amon.  The dark haired man’s face softened and he ran his fingers through Michael’s hair affectionately.


            “We need to be sure, Michael,” Amon said quietly.  He slipped his hand, unnoticed, down to Michael’s neck and pressed two fingers against the pressure point located there.  “Close your eyes and relax, Michael,” Amon said in a low, soothing voice.  “Let us take care of everything.”


            Sure enough, within a few seconds Michael’s eyes fluttered closed and his whole body visibly relaxed.  Sakaki watched the scene in amazement.


            “What did you do to him?” Sakaki asked. 


            “By applying pressure to the main artery in the neck you can block the blood flow to the brain.  Holding it for a few seconds causes unconsciousness; any longer, and you can kill the person.”


            Sakaki felt a wave of fear crash over him.  “He’ll be okay, won’t he?”


            Amon gave a small smile at Sakaki’s concern.  “He’ll be fine.  He would be out for a couple of minutes under normal circumstances, but given the recent strain on his body, I’m guessing he’ll be out until morning.”


            “O-okay.  So what do we do now?” Sakaki asked as he ran his hand through his sweaty locks.  Amon stood and stepped back to remove his trench coat.  He threw it casually over the desk that was next to the bed.  He grabbed the chair and rolled it over to the side of the bed.


            “First, we need to get him undressed,” Amon said as he bent over to undo the laces of Michael’s sneaker.  Sakaki moved to do the same with the other foot.  Once they were removed, Sakaki reached up to unbutton Michael’s pants, only to realize that he had never re-buttoned them after leaving Zaizen’s office.  His stomach clenched in response to the memory.   Stopping that line of thought before it lead somewhere he did not want to go, Sakaki slowly began to work the cargo pants off Michael’s hips.


            It was funny; Sakaki thought to himself, that he had been in this situation many times before, only Michael had been conscious and gazing up at him with lust filled eyes as he was undressed.  To be doing this now, when Michael was out cold, made it seem almost profane.  Sakaki’s breath shuddered when he exhaled. 


            Once he had the pants over his lover’s bony hips, Sakaki grabbed the bottom cuffs and pulled them off in one easy motion.  Amon sat in the chair and wheeled himself closer to the bed.  He motioned for Sakaki to climb on the bed with Michael.


            “Alright, take the wash cloth and gently- and I do mean gently- wash away the blood,” Amon ordered softly. 


            Sakaki sat cross-legged facing Michael so that his body was perpendicular with the sleeping teen.  He reached out and cautiously put his hand on one of Michael’s cheeks, spread them and slipped the wet cloth between.  It was then that he realized that his hands were shaking. 


            “Easy, Sakaki.  Calm down,” Amon encouraged.  The tall man stood suddenly, walked over to Michael’s desk and switched on the small lamp situated upon it.  He aimed the light to shine on Michael’s prone body. 


Sakaki could have done without the additional illumination.  Now he could see the blood that was smeared between Michael’s legs and up the crack of his ass.  For a moment he felt the bile rise into his throat; he forced it back down through sheer willpower.  With a heavy sigh he went back to carefully wiping away the blood from Michael’s torn entrance.


“Does it look like he’s still bleeding?” Amon asked.  


“Yeah, a little.  It looks pretty raw, too,” Sakaki replied. 


“Okay, here’s what you need to do now.  Spread some of the Bacatracin on your finger and feel around inside for any tears.”


Sakaki picked up the tube that was lying beside him and squeezed a ribbon of the ointment onto his index finger.  However, just as he was about to inset it he pulled back.


“I can’t do it, Amon.  I don’t know what the hell I’m doing,” Sakaki sobbed.


“Do you want me to do it?” Amon asked calmly.  His voice conveyed how much control of the situation he had.  Sakaki hated him at that moment for his cool composure.  “I will if you want.  The only reason I asked you to do it was so that it would not make the situation more awkward than it already is.” 


Sakaki thought about it for a moment.  Did he want Amon sticking his finger up his boyfriend’s ass?  That was basically the question he was being asked.  Granted, it would be extremely professional and clinical but it still boiled down to Amon’s finger being inserted someplace very private.  Sakaki had no idea what kind of injuries he was looking for and Amon did.  Maybe he should let him do it.  But what about Michael?  Perhaps he wouldn’t be too happy to know that it was Amon who did the procedure and not him.    


“No, I’ll do it,” Sakaki answered, resigned to the fact that he would have to do the gruesome deed.  “You have to help me, though.  I have no clue what I’m looking for.”  Amon gave a gentle nod of agreement.


“Sure, just take it slow, like your preparing him for-“ Amon cut himself off when he realized what he was about to say.  Sakaki looked at him with an expression that clearly said whatever you do, do not finish that sentence.  “Just take it slow,” He amended.


Sakaki bent down and gently rubbed some of the ointment on the outer ring of Michael’s anus before slowly pushing his finger inside.  He tried to be extra careful but he still felt the inner muscles tighten reflexively.  Michael moaned piteously but did not come to full consciousness.  Amon reached over and started stroking the hacker’s head once again and the teen quieted back down.  Sakaki clenched his jaw and continued.  He nearly retched as some residual semen leaked out as he pressed in farther.   


“Okay, Sakaki, feel around as gently as you can.  What you’re feeling for is any area that feels rough or bumpy,” Amon whispered.  Sakaki nodded and a look of concentration came over his face as he carried out the task.


“I don’t feel anything,” Sakaki said as he pulled his finger out of Michael.  Amon visibly relaxed.


“That’s good.  The external tears will heal in a few days.  Hopefully there will not be anymore incidents with Zaizen,” The somber man stated.  Amon leaned forward and began to examine the welts that marred Michael’s back.


“There’s really nothing you can do about them,” Sakaki said.  “The swelling will probably go down in a few hours and the bruises and scrapes will take a few days to fade.”


Amon paused for a moment and then gave a small nod to acknowledge the blonde’s statement.  He then stood to help Sakaki pull a pair of boxer shorts onto Michael.  They left him sleeping on his stomach figuring that position would aggravate the wounds the least.


“Come on,” Amon said as he watched Sakaki pull the blanket over Michael.  “Let’s get you cleaned up.  There’s a first-aid kit in the kitchenette.” Sakaki turned slowly to face Amon and followed him silently out of the room.


When they reached the office Amon gestured for Sakaki to sit in one of the chairs and then headed into the kitchen area.  Sakaki sank into the chair.  Everything was catching up to him.  His body barely had enough energy to stay upright in the seat.  The headache that had been pounding before had subsided while he was attending to Michael, though he figured that was most likely due to the adrenaline pumping through his veins.  Now that he was calm once again, he could feel the pressure building behind his eyes.  If he could just go to sleep, things wouldn’t seem like they were so bad.  He could escape for just a little while.  Sakaki could feel the room spin when ever his eyes slipped shut for more than a few seconds.  It was so tempting to just give in and let the exhaustion claim him.


Sakaki was brought back to reality by a rough jolt to his chair.  His violet eyes snapped open and he looked around the room, startled.  He focused on Amon standing beside him.  He held an ice pack in one hand and the small first-aid kit in the other.


“No sleeping,” The dark haired man ordered as he pressed the ice pack against Sakaki’s forehead.  The blonde immediately winced and pulled back.


“Ow, not so hard,” he complained.  Amon relinquished his hold and let Sakaki dispense his own treatment.  The tall man pulled a chair next to Sakaki and sat down opposite him.


“Let me see your eyes,” Amon requested.  Sakaki lowered the pack and let Amon’s hazel eyes look into his.  “Well, your pupils are not dilated.  Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?”


“No,” Sakaki answered wearily.


“Then we can rule out a concussion.  Give me your wrist.” 


Sakaki dutifully stretched out his arm and let Amon look it over.  Sakaki was surprised at how gentle the other man was being.  The dark haired man carefully turned his wrist over to look at the abraded flesh around his wrist.  Amon silently opened an alcohol swab and tenderly dabbed at the abused skin.  When he was finished he pulled out a roll of gauze and wrapped it around Sakaki’s wrist. 


“Where did you learn all of this?” Sakaki asked softly.  Amon paused briefly but did not look up to meet Sakaki’s eyes. 


“Taught myself.  I had to patch myself up on a couple of occasions.”


“It was bad, wasn’t it?” Sakaki asked.  Amon’s hands stalled in their motion and he looked up.  “It wasn’t only Zaizen, there were others weren’t there?  The video he showed me was of you with two men I didn’t recognize.”  Amon sighed heavily and went back to taping the gauze on the blonde’s wrist.


“Sometimes…there were others,” Amon said in a quiet voice.  He didn’t elaborate any further and Sakaki felt guilty about asking for more information. 


“How do you get past something like that?” Sakaki asked wistfully.


“You don’t,” Amon said simply and finished with one wrist, then gestured for Sakaki to give him his other wrist.  It was not what Sakaki wanted to hear, but it was the truth.  It explained so much about Amon’s personality.  The way he acted towards others, the way he kept himself distant, it all reeked of someone who was scared to allow anyone close to them.


Amon had constructed a wall around himself; that much was evident.  If no one could break through the wall, then no one could get close enough to hurt him again, and Amon had had a long time to build the walls high and strong.  They were as impressive as they were impenetrable.  It made Sakaki wonder if Michael might end up the same way.  That thought frightened him more than his father ever did.  He closed his eyes as the throbbing in his head increased.  The ice was not helping at all.


            “Stay awake, Sakaki,” Amon demanded.  There was a pinch of irritation in his baritone voice.


            “I’m not trying to sleep.  I was thinking,” Sakaki said quietly as he readjusted his hold on the ice pack.


            “About what?” Amon asked as he continued wrapping the blonde’s wrists. 


            Lot’s of things really,” Sakaki said with a sigh.  “Mostly about my father.”


            “What about him?”  Amon finished tending Sakaki’s injuries and relinquished his gentle hold.  Sakaki pulled his arm back and leaned on his elbow.


            “About how I wish he was burning in hell right now rather than rotting away in a prison cell.”


            Amon sat back in his chair and gracefully crossed his arms over his chest.  His eyebrow twitched at Sakaki’s comment.  There was an unspoken offer made for Sakaki to continue if he wanted.  The blonde had been around the somber man enough to recognize his non-verbal cues. 


            “My father was like Zaizen in the sense that they both got off on hurting people,” Sakaki began.  “He used to smack my mother around a lot.  He found any excuse he could to yell at her for something.  Sometimes he didn’t even need any excuses.  When I was old enough I started fighting back for my mom.  Whenever he would start to lay into her, I would try and stop him.  Earned myself a bunch of beatings that way.  He was particularly fond of using his belt on me.”  Sakaki met Amon’s gaze with a knowing look and a sardonic smile.


            “It was all I could do to make sure my little sister was never involved in that mess.  Well, one day when I was sixteen, my father caught me kissing another boy.  Ken was my first boyfriend.  We never did anything other than kiss, but he saw us and he was not happy.  My mother came home from work that night to find him beating the shit out of me in our kitchen.  He probably would have killed me if she hadn’t stopped him.  She….” Sakaki’s throat closed on the words and he had to take a moment before he could continue.  “She took one of the carving knives from the block on the counter and was going to stab him, but at the last second he saw her and got out of the way.  The two of them wrestled with the knife but it was no contest; he was twice her size.  He stabbed her in the chest.  The last thing I saw before I passed out was him throwing my mother’s bleeding body to the floor.  She almost bled to death before the paramedics arrived and was in a coma for three days as a result of the blood loss.  My father was thrown in jail and my sister and I ended up in a home for children for a while.  Well, my mother eventually recovered physically, but something inside her shattered that day.  She tried to kill herself a few times.  She’s in a sanitarium now, drugged into oblivion.” 


            “Is that how you ended up here?” Amon asked. His face was unreadable.  Sakaki shook his head.


            “Yeah, I joined the academy as soon as I graduated high school.  The STN-J arranged to have part of my salary sent to my mother.” 


            “And that’s what Zaizen is using against you?” Amon said and sighed heavily. Sakaki nodded in the affirmative.  “Try not to lose hope.  I will do everything I can to get this over with as soon as possible.” And with that, Amon stood and began to walk back to Michael’s room.  Sakaki left the ice pack on the desk and jumped up to follow.


            “When, Amon?  Things are getting out of control and I don’t know how long it will be before we get to the point of no return,” Sakaki asked in a hushed tone as they neared the door to Michael’s room. 


            “You’re almost there already,” Amon said and then stopped walking and turned to face the blonde.  “I don’t want to scare you, but things will probably get worse before they get better.  Zaizen is a powerful man and it will take much more than what I have right now to bring him down.  This goes deeper than you can possibly imagine.  I don’t want to say anymore here, because I know he’s listening.” 


            Sakaki felt a sharp pain in his stomach.  How much worse is it going to get?    He did not want to find out, but there were no choices left.  There was the possibility that he could get away, but that would leave Michael and his family in danger.  No, he was going to have to stick this one through to the end.  No matter what happens.


            Amon quietly pushed open the door and stepped inside the room.  Michael was still asleep; the soft sound of his breathing was the only noise.  Amon walked over to the desk and picked up his coat.


            “I’m going to call off the hunt we had planned for tomorrow night.  The two of you are in no condition, and there will be too many unnecessary questions from the others,” Amon said as he shrugged his black trench coat on.  Sakaki shook his head in agreement and turned to gaze down at Michael.  The blonde reached out and removed the glasses that were still on the sleeping teen’s face.  He folded them and placed them on the nightstand next to the bed.


            “He is very lucky to have you,” Amon said as he watched Sakaki fuss over his lover.  His voice betrayed some of his usual control and sounded strangely poignant and a little envious.  “Perhaps when this is all over, the two of you will be able to help each other move on.”


            Sakaki met the tall man’s eyes and an overwhelming sense of misery came over him.  “But what about you?” He asked.  “Who will be there for you?”  A sad smile touched Amon’s lips and he placed a hand on Sakaki’s shoulder.


            “It’s… too late for me. But not for you and Michael.  Don’t concern yourself with me just take care of each other.”   Amon gave Sakaki’s shoulder a friendly squeeze and turned for the door.


            “Amon!” Sakaki called out.  “Thank you…for everything,” he said much softer when the dark haired man turned to face him.  He felt it was horribly inadequate, but he could not think of anything else to say.  Amon gave a small dip of his head to acknowledge his acceptance and pulled the door closed as he left.


            With a resigned sigh, Sakaki pulled his shirt over his head, toed off his shoes, and pulled his pants off.  Too tired to do much of anything, he left them in a pile on the floor.  He carefully crawled onto the bed and worked himself between the wall and Michael.  To his complete amazement the redhead didn’t rouse.  The blonde snuggled down under the covers and pulled the hacker over so that his head was resting on Sakaki’s chest.  Amon’s words echoed in his head as his body relaxed and it made him sad to think of their stoic leader having to deal with this alone.  How hard it must have been, how hard it must still be for him. 


            You’re not alone anymore, Amon.  You don’t have to suffer by yourself.  We’ll be here for you, too,  Sakaki vowed to himself as he drifted off into the welcoming blackness of sleep.   







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