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11 February 2009 @ 08:57 pm
The baby is sick  
And this couldn't have happened on a worse day.

Something is up, health wise, with my mother-in-law.  My mother first noticed something was amiss this past Thanksgiving when we were all together.  She said that my MIL seemed "off" and not herself.  I didn't pay it much mind until I noticed that the level of care my son was getting was starting to decline.  Now, my father-in-law helps out in the babysitting duties (except the dirty diapers) so I never had any cause for concern until mid-December.  That was when I started to suspect they weren't changing the baby's diapers as often as they should because I would have to change his diaper when I got home from work.  When I tell you it was soaked, believe me, it was soaked.  The damn thing weighed 2 pounds.  This annoyed me greatly, but I still wasn't thinking anything was "wrong."  I just figured they did change him after his nap.  Well, during the month of December, my husband had a number of vacation days he needed to use before the end of the year so he spaced them out which resulted in us not needing his parents services that much.  That's when my husband and I started to suspect something.  My MIL would call my husband 2-3 times a day and ask him the same questions as if she never spoke to him.  We started to worry about the possibility of Alzheimer's.  There were times when I would ask her a direct question and she would stare at me blankly for a few moments before answering.  Then I began to notice that physically she seemed very frail.

Here is where I should mention that she is a cancer survivor.  God, what is it now?  5 years?  She was diagnosed with lung cancer and had to go through Kemo and radiation.  The cancer went into remission and she'd been clean on every test since then, but now hubbie and I highly suspect that it might be back.  And to make it worse, from all the indicators it looks like it may have spread.  This past month she has literally begun to wilt.  She can barely stand for more than a few minutes at a time.  I found out that she's been changing the baby on the floor because she can't stand at the changing table long enough.  All of this is freaking me out of course and the few times I've mentioned my concerns to my husband are usually met with anger because he's too overloaded with the fact that his mother may be sick again.

So, this is where I am right now.  I'm faced with the fact that my cheap and very convenient childcare is in all likelihood coming to an end.  Hubbie and I are both adamantly against putting the baby in daycare, but I'm at least more open to that as a possibility.  He would have me not work and us dwindle our savings to nothing before that happens.  At the very least, I'm probably going to have to look for a part-time job.  I have serious doubts that my current job will let me switch given that of the four people in my department, one is already part-time, and one works from home 2 days out of the week.  You add that our economy is in the shitter and that makes my situation look bleaker by the moment.  When the in-laws showed up at my house this morning, my MIL did not look well at all.  She can barely walk, it seems.  My FIL tells me that they are going to get her a doctor's appointment asap.  Well, asap ended up being this friday, but at least we can get an idea of what the hell is going on.  I'm quite sick with worry over everything, but I can't talk to my husband about it because he's pretty much shutdown at this point.  Anything I say about his mother immediately puts him on the defensive and I don't to seem like I'm kicking her when she's down, but I have a child to think about here too.  And dammit, I need to vent.  

And because misery loves company, the baby caught a cold.  At least, I hope its just a cold.  

/end rant 
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
Jukebox: sokkajukebox_csi on February 12th, 2009 03:37 am (UTC)
*hugs* I wish I had something to offer to help you feel better. I'll say this, I was a daycare baby and my child has been one, too. If you find the right daycare or child development center, it can be a very rewarding thing for your child. Babies to the age of 7 have brains like sponges. And social development takes place early on as well.

My niece didn't have daycare; rather my mom & the other grandmother were the sitters. She was a very introverted, shy child who didn't know how to interact with other kids when my mom would take her to the park, because she had only been around adults since infancy. At 4 yo, my bro & his wife finally put her in a child development center to get her prepared for kindergarten, and I swear it was like a flower blooming. So, it's something to think about.

I hope the cancer hasn't returned for the MIL. I'll keep her in my prayers.
evilkat_meowevilkat_meow on February 12th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
I'm definitely not as deadset against daycare as my husband. I do see the benefits, but I really don't want people I don't know raising my kid. So far, he's very friendly towards other kids. Its usually adults that he's shy around, but who knows if that will change. I was actually shopping around for some activities or groups he could do once or twice a week to give him some social skills, but not an official daycare. Guess that's on hold until we find out what's happening.

Thank you for your thoughts, though. I really appreciate it.
Jukeboxjukebox_csi on February 12th, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC)
I completely understand that. It can be a hard thing. My husband would visit the daycare one-two times a day (it was about a mile from his office), just so he could check up on it and get to know the people. One of my coworkers has her little boy in a daycare that has the cameras (where the parents are given pin numbers to access the cameras via the security company's website) so she can check online to see what's going on in the classroom throughout her workday.

rookafrk on February 12th, 2009 07:55 am (UTC)
hey, it's normal to feel distressed in such a situation. I understand that you worry about your MIL, but as a mommy, it's normal that you worry even more about your baby's well-being and safety.
I don't really know what to tell you aside from the very naive but sincere : I hope everything's going to be alright for all of you.
Now, daycare isn't all that bad, your baby would have the opportunity to play with others his age, and that's the cool side - the bad one is that they catch every single cold in daycare - but if I recall well, they're really expensive in the US, right ? I too would hate to have to quit my job, and I completely second you on that.
Well, hun, wish that your MIL in law just lacks something like D-vitamin and that these worries are soon history.
evilkat_meowevilkat_meow on February 12th, 2009 07:51 pm (UTC)
My brother's twins have been in daycare since birth, practically, and they are always sick, it seems. In fact, I think that's where my little guy caught this cold. We saw them this past weekend.

I hope that it's something easily treated for my MIL. I really do.