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08 January 2008 @ 12:02 pm
Well, this is it...the last entry of my pregger diary  
Tonight at 8 PM I shall be admitted into the hospital to begin phase one of the induction process.  Because my cervix has not begun to dilate or efface, they are going to give me this stuff called Cervidil that will help to "soften" my cervix and then tomorrow morning they will start the Pitocin to induce labor.

So, now that I'm at the end of one phase and the beginning of another, how do I feel?  I think the term scared shitless sums it up best.  Oddly enough, I think I've reached a sort of peace with all the worries I had about being a good mom and such.  It's now switched over to worry about the whole birthing and recovery process.  I suppose it seems silly that that has taken precedence, but I've heard that induced labor is tough...really, really tough.  And while I'm not a wuss when it comes to pain, I find myself balking at the thought of hours of labor and contractions and pushing and episiotomies...its enough to make even the strongest person falter.  It's blowing my mind up.

I'm trying not to feel overwhelmed by the whole thing, but its hard.  This is probably one of the biggest life changing events a person can go through.  I keep reminding myself that I've been through some incredibly bad spots in my past and came out changed, but okay.  This should be a walk in the park.  I'm sure my next entry will be me laughing at myself for writing this.

And while this last month was very physically challenging, I very much enjoyed being pregnant.  That first trimester was a little tough with the nausea and then there was that placenta previa scare, but all in all, it was a very enjoyable pregnancy.  I'll probably miss feeling the little guy moving around inside me when he's out.  It really is a special, albeit weird feeling that no one can describe to you.  It's something you have to experience for yourself. 

Maybe once I'm home and settled into a routine, I can get back to writing.  I feel really bad that I let this entire pregnancy go by with no writing whatsoever.  And believe me, I want to get back into it.  I left everyone hanging with the last chapters of P&C and Light. Sorry!

So, now comes the end of the pregger diary.  Maybe I'll start a mommy diary...we'll see.  Even if I don't, this journal will be still be peppered with my experiences in the world of parenthood.   My next entry will be an introduction complete with pictures.  I will be F-locking it for privacy, but I will still make a public birth announcement for those not on my F-list. 

See you soon.  Wish me luck!
 
 
Current Mood: excitedexcited
 
 
 
Franfranwi on January 8th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
Wow! I wish I had some tips or advice for you. All I can say is I'll be wishing you the best tonight and tomorrow! :)
rookafrk on January 8th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
Good Luck !
I'll be thinking of you and i'm looking forward to you introducing your little boy in here ^^
It's ok to be afraid, you are facing so many changes, but all the mothers I know only remember the best about giving birth.
(and don't worry about not writing, no one would have wanted you to write angsty stuff while being prengnant 0_o lol).
I need to conclude a message for such an occasion in french with a "gros bisous!" (that means, lot's kisses and that would be the equivalent of an american hug ;))
To read you soon hun
Jukeboxjukebox_csi on January 9th, 2008 01:05 am (UTC)
*SQUEEEES* I'm so excited for you!!!! Much wishes of good luck that it will be quick and easy!!!! I look forward to the introductions. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts for it all to go well *hugs*